My wife is so #pregnant

At home this week, off with COVID breakthrough for 10 days, symptoms were gone in 3 days. Just mild congestion and headache. Playing nanny all week and roasting a chicken while watching a lid simultaneously is a major achievement.

I cancelled my Harry's subscription a year ago when they turned on #Conservatives, glad to send my cash elsewhere, to Jeremy’s Razors, and finally stop shaving with a rusty spoon.

It's like those "I fed a bunch of X into an AI and then had it write one" post where everyone doubles over in laughter at the silliness.

Should I #tweet more? Probably. But I feel like shouting this into the void: #NightmareAlley kinda sucked. I'm now more concerned if Guillermo del Toro ever gets allowed to make #themountainsofmadness

Wife bought one box of pancake mix for our son, the other for us (me?) Should I be worried about what this means? Kodiak Cakes GIANT #toddler #marriage

I may be a humble MBA student, but... *screams into the void*

Nation Relieved To No Longer Have To Pretend To Like Soccer babylonbee.com/news/nation-re…

How can #WhatWeDointheShadows have an episode titled 'Pine Barrens' and it not be a huge #Sopranos spoof?

Maybe we should have those with proven leadership success run huge bureaucratic organizations. Not someone looking to coast to a cushy job because they're good at photo-ops. It was clear he didn't take this post seriously when he took months off for paternity leave.

Did my first advanced split session with Robin Arzón and Peloton today and didn't die! However, I now know I use my triceps when washing my hands. Ow.

I will confess I know almost nothing about fashion. I approach my closet each day with fear and confusion. I do find derek guy helpful but I don't know if I want my coworkers to look at me and think "George Costanza".

Getting ready to experience this horror in almost a week.

Terrifying if true. 50%??

Okay fine impeach him

If you haven't figured it out by now, Donald J. Trump follows the Malcolm Reynolds school of international relations. #firefly #Iran #politics