My sleeping pattern is all sorts of fucked up

Notions is what I have, 2 am last night rearranging my office breaking drill bits off and causing mayhem pray tell?

I am in a constant state of delulu

Nooooo because what the fuck is wrong with people for me to see a video about a girls ex bf wrapping her chihuahua in a towel and beating it relentlessly because he was jealous that she loved the dog more than him? Bawled my fucking eyes out.. please no more dog abuse 😭

Getting bit is shite but getting bitten on your healing tattoo which is already itchy as fuck is another type of hell

I feel so bad I've just ran over a snail cycling home 🥲

This "summer" weather can suck all the dick

Forgive me father for I have sinned it's been a month since I've graced the gym with my presence

Nah because only Heather would think she's found my red wine stash while she's dog sitting for me only to go on and drink the cooking wine that's been open several months 😂

My eczema decided to grow enough cheek for another arse and spread like wildfire on me

The addiction to animal crossing is slowly creeping it's way back into my life

Holy fuck I didn't realise how out of touch from technology I was until today, we got a new TV and there is two remotes. I can barely work one remote don't be coming at me with a second

Knowing right well sad dog videos make me ugly cry Emmet goes and sends me one at work. Quick cry in the toilet then back to work, a few salty coffees for the customers

My indecisiveness will be the death of me 🥲

There's a lot to be said for the mute button

Not a Christmas present bought or a child in the house washed

If getting congratulated for being pregnant (not pregnant btw) last night while working isn't the kick up the arse I need to get back to the gym then I don't know what is..

I cry every time the Pogues fairy tale of New York is on

The obsessive urge to buy all the kitchen gadgets just as I've managed to get Emmet on board with the juicer the want for the ninja creami screams my name