Hiya just a little happiness for your timeline

My girlfriends hay fever has been so bad that I’ve stopped blessing every sneeze and she gets agg every time I don’t bless her, like it’s actually going to stop the devil from eating her eyes or something

And the award for this year’s most lowlife scum goes to...

The positive energy I needed today

...Soon.

Thank you, Boris. (Video taken at the The White Hart)

If you are someone who comments on any picture with people in it, especially for businesses, saying ‘what about social distancing?!!?’ then you can politely stay in lock down on your larry for a while longer...

I’ve been working in the office for so long on my own I’m not used to other people being in here and keep having to remind myself I can’t fart whenever I please anymore and it’s really disappointing

Being shouted at from a window by some Karen for whispering to my puppy to go for a wee at 11pm on a Saturday just really sums up how this year has gone

Shoutout to my brother who has become half the man he used to be, constantly fighting with mental health issues, physical struggles, and even through lockdown. Don’t know about you but to me this is bloody inspirational 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 (worried hes now become the attractive brother)

I haven’t tweeted in years so here’s an update on my life for no one that asked: • got a dog • moved to a beaut house • somehow got 60k followers on tiktok • shaved my head • found a lot more positive things in life This is my weirdest flex, but hope you’re with me on it

Woah, check out these Thai sticky chicken bites by my mate dougie’s dinners (on Instagram)...   With just a few ingredients he’s whipped up this TOP meal!! Welcome to FLAVOUR TOWN meatheads!!!   What we thinking?! #RateMyPlate

Another one from dougie’s dinners. I can’t get enough of this grazing platter. What a FEASSTTT 🔥    We all know what the best thing on there is though… 😉   Let me know ya thoughts below #RateMyPlate

Our Social Team recently worked with dougie’s dinners (on Instagram) to come up with an extravagant recipe for #RateMyPlate.⁠ ⁠ Check out these Thai Sticky Chicken Bites using the new Peperami Animal Smokin’ Chicken Bites!⁠ ⁠ Hats off to the chef 😋

Hi I’m still alive and now making tiktoks that get into the news apparently

I don’t scroll through Twitter for the content, I just look out for moments like these.

Time for the annual tweet: • dog is a year and a half old jeeesus • living in a stunning little village • somehow got 153k followers on tiktok • i’m a trained mental health first aider and a hero of Hertfordshire • family opened a bloody restaurant! See you next year x