More make up does not mean more tips, honey.

If only I knew how much my table was going to tip me before I waited on them..

I'm not sure if my job title should be server or alcoholic..

This job makes me hate humanity..

Uhh yeap that one IS vegetarian.

Me no want to work..

Just waking up #lifeofaserver

"It's really hotttt in heree" Yeah, because you won't shut the fuck up.

This. break.com/video/if-youve…

Two women. Three women. Four women. Death.

Oh, you're just here for dessert? Fucking Awesome.

I straight smell like a Chinese restaurant. I don't work at a Chinese restaurant..

You ate your entire meal and then complained it was too cold.. Cool.

Never have I ever wanted to head butt someone as bad as when the 7 top of women ask for separate checks.

Did that bitch just ask for dressing on the side..

New company policy, refills are conditionally free. I decide the conditions.

Waitress Haiku: Oh, sugar packets Your kid makes me want to die Sticky salt shakers

But what if I actually did spit in your food.. jk..

I wonder how Donald J. Trump tips.. I feel like it could really go either way..

Let's replace "double the tax" with "give me enough money to walk the fuck out of this hell hole and never return"