“While we wait for a set here at Punta Roca I just wanna shout out our warm and gracious host, the honorable President Bukele. What a fantastic job he’s done cleaning up not just his own country but helping others do the same. He has our eternal gratitude.” - Joe Turpel

In the 27 minutes between now and the next set, take a look at how some of the World Surf League's finest reacted when President Bukele - who co-sponsored the league's "Cultural Transparency Initiative" - choppered them to his star megaprison, CECOT, for a little look-see. Fascinating stuff.

Oh how I have missed thee Morgan Cibilic! Colapintos are but pretenders to your throne of eloquence. May you continue to bless us with post-heat haikus: Like just Hoggy Just in the background with that Hog energy So sick

If this morning you struck out to cross the chasm between how funny Vaughan Blakey perceives he is and how funny he actually is, you would reach the other side in approximately never.

Patrick Mainstone is Kepa Acero for people who think Kepa Acero sucks.

Listen, I realize this is wholly inadvertent but, as an avowed asshole and California native, I am obligated to point out the incidental tone-deafness of a Mexican and a white man in cosplay camo.

Addressing the group, one HB local shared a poignant, Wilson-inspired anecdote, saying, "I used to sit In My Room and think, Wouldn't It Be Nice if this town had no gays or illegals. Well, God Only Knows where we would be without Donald J Trump. Now, let's do that splashy thing."

legends.

reddit.com/r/surfing/comm… This thread in which hundreds denounce Dr. Slater as a fucking moron is: A. The pervasive sentiment on Kelly’s poli/health POV which surf media cannot/will not discuss or B. Representative of a small cluster of opinions, limited to intellectuals/redditors

If you’ve ever thought, “Man, I really wish someone would make a wetsuit that stretches from MS to LT after one month of moderate use,” make sure to check out a brand called “Vissla.”

Setting up a GoFundMe for a ticket to Tahiti to personally deliver the news to Felicity Palmateer that "comfortability" is not a word (I believe the word she's looking for is "comfort").

Sometimes I watch these guys get blown out of life-or-death barrels and feel envy for the spectacular highs they must experience. Then I remember I get to believe in vaccine science and feel confident Barack Obama is not a reptilian pedophile and I’m cool with my station in life.

Hearing unconfirmed reports that following last night's upgrade to Narda's intensity and projected path, that Duunne Crew guy was found beside his laptop, drown in a pool of his own ejaculate.