cole from Dissect Podcast i love u but i didn’t need to know you look like that

ok fine i’ll bite what is a parlay bc it sounds like it’s not pirate code as was my previous understanding

this is the 5th time in 2ish years that i have been personally victimized by Chronopost and there’s absolutely nothing i can do about it bc they’re pseudo-populist surrender monkeys who don’t believe in personal accountability

he’s a sweet boy, coachable, and keeps trying to buy me food & hang out after i suck the soul out of his body… might let him next time and begin ruining his life

one time his cross fell into my mouth when he flipped me onto my back

if my brother finds my burner i expect him to honor kill me on sight

hello zachary i am also in the market for a backup for Wemby should my plans to seduce him fail due to age, geographic, language, and cultural gaps

*big L voice* kinda tireddd

they need to invent an apology horn that i can honk when i accidentally drive like a cunt

how do i stop yapping so much all the time

who the fuck broke into my place last night only to steal all my vape chargers i swear to god im

ima. simple woman i get drunk and i start demanding someone play devil in a new dress

every year i demand to be included in the boys fantasy league and every year i get bored by november and stop setting a line up

no one ever talks about the advantages of being forgotten by God

personal safety alarm in my stocking every year without fail, i love being a woman

will never fail to surprise me that as soon as you bring up french north africa to a frenchman they immediately start explaining why it’s not racist to have slave colonies, actually

the high of referring to the kansas city chiefs as “taylor swift’s boyfriend and his friends” in a room full of Serious NFL Men is nearly unmatched

do better than this