The worst thing about trying to parallel park are the witnesses.

🍷🍺 Vencedores dos Santos Populares de Lisboa por País desde 2015 2015 – 🇵🇹 Portugal 2016 – 🇵🇹 Portugal 2017 – 🇵🇹 Portugal 2018 – 🇵🇹 Portugal 2019 – 🇵🇹 Portugal 2020 – 🇵🇹 Portugal 2021 – 🇵🇹 Portugal 2022 – 🇵🇹 Portugal 2023 – 🇵🇹 Portugal 2024 – 🇵🇹 Portugal 2025 – 🇵🇹 Portugal

True

No, hope this helps x

I’ll never forget you, perfect February

Can we stop with the Senior discounts? They have all the money. Give 20-40 year olds discounts.

switching jobs is so scary what if they use microsoft teams instead of slack

My 5yo said she’s scared to become a grown up because she “doesn’t know how to do the gas station.” She has no idea how real she’s being right now.

This cannot be the same brain that earned a bachelor’s degree.

And y'all gossip like your moms instead of working like your dads lmao.

Amazon will tell you your package is coming in 5 days, then deliver it the next day. These are the only kind of lies I need in my life.

No, your employees don’t want to go to an escape room Just go to a bar and open a tab

The older I get, the more I realize how much I hate sleeping at other people’s house.

dying that ain’t never died before is genuinely one of the best things i’ve ever heard 😭😭😭😭

Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to log into Microsoft Authenticator 47 times a day.

Because they also can’t afford a divorce?

Every time I have a three-day weekend, I am reminded of how much more balanced my life would feel with consistent three-day weekends.

a vida é o que acontece nos feriados prolongados

I attended an event and the aunties only asked me when I’m getting my masters. The world is finally healing. ❤️‍🩹

nobody warns you how quickly you go from 18 to 25.