What’s up with the water glasses next to the bathroom sink

U just know Gru’s nose be hitting that spot when h’eatin someone out

My head long as fuck at the top like Grandpa Simpson

Was really nervous to go to the gym for the first time and as soon as I walked through the big door everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me

Pee burning means you have more testosterone than most that’s all

My cousin got caught watching chubby bunny challenge on YouTube

Accidentally got forwarded a alien’s email

Using up all my vacation days at work for “Fecal Hypnosis”

My cousin looked up “binder for moobs” on hotel wifi and the lady at the front desk called the police

You should be allowed to evict your roommates for a few hours if you feel like it

the really hot women who randomly DM me on twitter are so dumb like wtf is this lady’s deal

Penile expansion elixir recipes reddit

I got a bloody nose from looking at a bouncing ball for too long

Had a very affecting dream last night but the only part I can remember is a lady I went to college with laying sexily on my bed and asking if I wanted to do it "Gummy Bear Style"

You should be Elvis

Deaf cousin always wanna play Xbox kinect.