Louder for the people in the back.

Ngl going that little 5 - 10 over the speed limit in the left lane isn’t enough bro u need to want to be here

🔥

losing a white tee to a stain a different kind of grief

“it’s time to choose your 2026 benefits.”

“if it weren’t for the baby”

got full after one plate…

i prefer to watch new movies with nachos and a cherry icee, on an oversized screen, as a communal experience, AT THE MOVIE THEATERS

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

But if I file my taxes wrong, I go to jail.

If your job requires a college degree, you should be able to write-off your student loan payments as a business expense the way CEOs write off their private jets and yachts for their jobs which require neither.

i can handle alot... but God forbid there's multiple noises happening at once

man do I have a movie in theaters now for you

“Rocky watched crew die, could not fix. Grace say Grace will die, Rocky fix.”

okay, hand over the rest of the food