Happy International Women’s Day to all the men who act like bitches.

Who needs a diary when you have a Twitter account.

We all need therapy. This isn’t a competition.

Let's turn this Waffle House into a Waffle Home.

When I sneak into the bathroom for a quick piss break and spend 2 minutes debating on just finishing out the day or hanging myself with my neon undies 🤔

Imagine thinking I'm just an average girl who enjoys cooking and planting pretty flowers in my garden.

I don't know if I can handle a baddie, but I could handle a saddie.

If he stops talking to you just because you tried to kill him once..he's not worthy of your borderline personality disorder or your amazing tits.

I'll pay 64 dollars for a Tom Ford lipstick but I'm not rounding up to the next dollar at McDonald's.

When he is a bit violent 🤍

Don't waste my time if you can't lie under oath or stay silent through a 7 hour interrogation.

My mental health these days

That exact same thing happened to me but with a Chinese hooker, so I understand.

For absolutely no reason..Just look

Just saved a baby duck that fell in a drain. That's my good deed for the year.

When he plays with your hair at night

There are so many scams on the Internet now, but for only $19.95, I can show you how to avoid them.

What’s a little tongue wrestling between friends?