Me after dieting for 2 hours *checks for abs* this is UNFAIR >>> #dogsof30a

me: "ok, i've got a whole weekend to really get on top of all my work and maybe even go out and see some people" also me:

when one little smush is next to another little smush, and you just can't handle it bc look at 'em. >>> #dogsof30a

when you start measuring your weekend plans in bottles, instead of glasses >>> #dogsof30a Happy Friday! 🎉

whn you've tried "eating clean," but the gas station by ur house has the 2-4-1 deal on the giant tubs of cheeseballs& you're weak #dogsof30a

whn bae is clingy [tag a clingy bae] >>> #dogsof30a

whn u told urself "just one more episode" but then accidentally stayed up till 1am& now ur on 5 hours of sleep like a heathen >>> #dogsof30a

when bae asks if she's been gettin' a little thick lately 😏😏😏 >>> #dogsof30a

when you're like 110 pounds, but also inclined to throw drinks&start fights so ur forcefully assigned to a much larger friend >>> #dogsof30a

whn u being a diva, and request a tuck-in from bae at bedtime. >>> #dogsof30a

whn ur like "i want dis" but life replies back with a "LOL absolutely not. you get nothing" >>> #dogsof30a

status: hoping to get dragged off the next United flight 2 get that "retire early on a beach somewhere" settlement money >>> #dogsof30a

us, when the Uber pulls up unexpectedly early and we're forced to shotgun our last beer w/ *intensity* >>> #dogsof30a

expectations by age 25: married w/ children. reality by age 25: "hi yes. i would like a large meat pizza for me and my dog." #dogsof30a

Life Hack: if your feet are filled w/ puppies, then Susan from Accounting can't ask you 2 change the printer ink 4 the 100th time #dogsof30a

when u and your bestie bring out the dumbest in each other. Mariah Carey voice *i don't know her* >>> #dogsof30a

a Filipino Water Potato in it's natural habitat, ladies and gentlemen. look at its stupid little feet and it's ridiculous ears >> #dogsof30a

me, putting in effort to achieve that Summer Body™ by year 2020 >> #dogsof30a

when you drop a bag of small, round potatoes on the ground and they start rolling around on super short legs >> #dogsof30a

when there's only 20 mins left in Happy Hour& ur crew is suddenly committing several traffic violations to get there in time >> #dogsof30a