"So put your drink down, throw your camera up. Flip it around and snap a payback picture. I'll send it to my ex. I'll send it to my ex! And send 'em both a text sayin' we ain't goin' home alone t o n i g h t...."

Care to help me celebrate?

[leaves these out for Jemma Andrews....]

Did you send in your vote, Jemma Andrews.?

Too late... x.com/alluringhonor/…

I... well... you should be comfortable... x.com/alluringhonor/…

You know me so well already... thank you. x.com/alluringhonor/…

Well I certainly don’t need all of them... x.com/alluringhonor/…

In that case... pull up a chair and I’ll get one served up for each of us. x.com/alluringhonor/…

Okay, that’s just not fair. Everyone needs Cinnabon in their life. When nothing else is there, Cinnabon always is. x.com/alluringhonor/…

Well, you know, I’m here for you, too... if you get sick of Cinnabon. x.com/alluringhonor/…

Ha! Yeah, fake husband. As your fake husband, it’s my job to be here for you. x.com/alluringhonor/…

I’ll have to extend them just a while longer, then. My mom always said that I clean like a man. I think it’s clean, but nobody seems to agree... x.com/alluringhonor/…

#FakeHusbandIsTheBestHashtagIHaveEverSeen x.com/AlluringHonor/…

#ThatCouldGetFunnyThough x.com/AlluringHonor/…

#MeTooSoBringItOn x.com/AlluringHonor/…

You could but you would be wrong. x.com/AlluringHonor/…

What face am I even making in the second one? x.com/AlluringHonor/…