Ernie (dog, see attached) and I are not feeling great about this game despite Ernie (soft boy, not pictured) getting a nice RBI for us. The Fury Road was a short ride tonight and Josh Fleming (allegedly 6'2) looks like a low-rent version of our bearded starters. #BlueJays50

Davis Schneider should be playing in every damn game. The vibes, the face card, are immaculate. MLB may record those as walks but they are Strides of Pride. #BlueJays50 #isSwaggerStillaThing?

Sometimes, as a special sweet treat, I'll have a sleeping pill on a Sunday night. The makers of Zopiclone will be in my prayers tonight. #giftsfromGod #sweettreats #girldinner

Get you a man who pees in excitement upon seeing you after a few days apart.

Have we at all considered feeding all of the Jays pre-game quesadillas? #BlueJays50