IRS just sent me $68!!! y’all watch the news tonight at 10

Just so the straight people are aware, this is a mockumentary film and every cast member looks directly into the camera/is aware of the film crew. Most characters look awkwardly into the camera but they had kylie look unphased because she’s spent her entire life being followed by

To be called inconsistent, you have to be consistently inconsistent...making you consistent

Yall love pocket watching black films huh

actually it wasn’t perfect.. everything worked out in the end, of course, but don’t lie straight to my face and say it was perfect

Oh good I was worried for a second

the bear should end with them deciding to make the place a plain ol' sandwich shop again and it turns into a normal restaurant with colorful regulars and the show we all actually wanted to watch begins

the light is coming to give back everything the darkness stole

This is how tight my March budget is..

DCU Wonder Woman is gonna be a regular girl who was raised in an all girls orphanage called Themyscira and the rope is gonna be the one she used to try to kill herself

it’s on slack bro. it’s in the drive. i just put it in the notion bro i literally sent it to you on teams. did you check the airtable bro? it’s in the box bro. it’s single sign on, it’s on okta bro. no you need the yubikey. check your deel bro, it’s on gusto. check outlook bro

what's cool is you can now pick a major based on your actual interest instead of what makes the most money because you'll be unemployed regardless

This country needs to decide if it likes capitalism or not

when you finally do your laundry and all your top-tiers clothes are back

yelling "you already did that move" at a stripper

Hey Chicago! If you live in or around Hyde Park area, don’t go to the new Barnes & Noble. Call & Response Books is AROUND THE BLOCK, Black owned by a husband and wife couple, and their selections are amazing. They host community events all the time and have a zine! Support them!

this is why you shouldn’t have a kid with just anyone. Dads are important.

Uber driver: *drops me off at the wrong location* Me (shy): “This is perfect”

reservations are so embarrassing like hi i’m here for my spaghetti appointment