Dibs! RT Michael van Poppel Vietnamese media report a local 2-year-old has developed breasts and menstruates.

Fuck fog

People need to contain their fucking kids at the DMV... Even better, not bring kids to the DMV.

The whole country of Spain can go eat a giant pile of cancer patient shit. These cock suckers are fucking worthless retards.

@SueEvison Ricky Gervais Dorian Holmes I disagree.with the broad. AIDS=Always funny. It's a proven mathmatical equation.

@diablablanca1 Wow am I glad TweetDeck just keeps things loaded once they're on my phone. *thumbs up for drunk tweets*

@chrissyteigen I buy the reusable bags from Whole.Foods then just throw them away. I really hate judgemental hippies, I also hate recycling.

@TheTennisstorm Your friend has nutella in her head...

@Meggasum Count me out today. Worked 16 hours yesterday, didn't shower back working 12 more hours. My balls smell horrendous right now.

@chrissyteigen $19.99 I need a car wash and that's how much they are. (I have the tip already)

Patrice O'Neal- RIP. I'm gonna miss you buddy. Thanks for making me a better comic. #Oneofthegreats

RIP Patrice O’Neil. Undeniably brilliant.

@chrissyteigen Sometimes people have the same comprehension levels for you as they do Colin Quinn. I'm almost sad for them... Almost

Tera Revolutionizes MMO Combat, But Is That Enough? bit.ly/ycm79C

@Florax620 Eat a giant black gorilla dick, dirty skank whore.

RT Rebelgate My buddy Bostyn never leaves my side. She even sleeps on my side of the bed. How can you not love dogs? instagr.am/p/KwojJIreQl/

You eat balls

RT Sheriff Jim Wilson YOU KNOW IF Pro-gunners were as violent as Anti-gunners say they are, there wouldn't be any Anti-gunners left!!!

UNCLE BOBBY! RT @AmberDonn Perhaps the saddest event in the Penn State scandal is now Bobby Bowden is the winningest college football coach.

RT emily miller Twice as many people murdered in 2010 from getting beat up as from "assault rifles", according to FBI. Outlaw fists?