I like twitter because it’s like talking to people without the people part being a requirement.

“you’re so funny” thanks i was ugly in high school

no I won’t look between letters on my keyboard. have you tried reading a book instead

doctor has prescribed me 150 mg love 200mg kisses thrice a day religiously and expeditiously

dad took one look at my outfit today and asked “you aren’t going to college are you?” you’re so right king 😍

god forbid a girl has questionable hobbies

bandaids are stickers with a job

A dating app for Palaeontologists would still be called dating

i am so mad rn (at myself)

if no one got me i know tj got me 🗣️

my loyal tweet likers (two of you) will be taken care of once i get da doctor money 💯💯💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥

sometimes I’m scared of going to drink water at night because what if The Conjuring ™ is in the kitchen

yash fuck your star sign what’s your portfolio?

can i come over and study you in a clinical setting

babe what’s wrong you’ve barely touched your amul masti chach tetra pack