the clubs need to open back up i miss standing on the wall and looking at my phone and taking a video every ten minutes so everybody knows i’m having fun

i overheard my uber driver and his wife being sad about having trouble having kids so i left my nephew in the car. i love doing gods work!🤍

Wtf

🎮 If Jadon Sancho scores first against Belgium tonight I’ll giveaway a brand new PS5 OR Xbox Series X. Retweet this tweet and follow me The LAD Tipster to enter. Good luck.

I think my soulmate is money

This is a frozen puddle, not an aerial view from a plane

What you don’t know will hurt you.

If there’s ever a scandal about me, *please* call it Elongate

I was joking😭😭

garlic is to cooking as vanilla extract is to baking in that the amount i add to my food is guided by reckless extravagance and utter disregard, verging on mild contempt, for the recipe as written