meredith 🍉 (@dietz_meredith) 's Twitter Profile
meredith 🍉

@dietz_meredith

too tired to pee, too full of piss to sleep. staff writer @lifehacker. headline contributor @TheOnion @reductress.

ID: 743285811957932033

linkhttps://linktr.ee/meredithdietz calendar_today16-06-2016 03:35:22

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meredith 🍉 (@dietz_meredith) 's Twitter Profile Photo

overheard a man on the phone go “no, no, ignore Ricky’s email, it’s all wrong, you know he uses chatgpt” so if you’re ricky, just know: you are not smart, you are not respected, and i’m going to kill you. twitter do your thing!

meredith 🍉 (@dietz_meredith) 's Twitter Profile Photo

when your friend posts a photo where you look sorta busted. that means 1) they love you so much, they’re incapable of seeing you through the harsh evil lens you use on yourself, and they wish you could see yourself as beautiful they see you, OR 2) they’re a traitorous bitch

meredith 🍉 (@dietz_meredith) 's Twitter Profile Photo

damn. loser of my fantasy draft has to permanently forget his son’s name and erase all memories with him 😭😭😭 punishment fits the crime i guess

meredith 🍉 (@dietz_meredith) 's Twitter Profile Photo

i did subway takes and i said “i deserve to live” and he said “100% disagree” and started chasing me. both of us on all fours. im sending this from a moment of respite in a secret crevasse i found at 14th st-union square. but i know i can’t run forever

meredith 🍉 (@dietz_meredith) 's Twitter Profile Photo

a lot of evil fucks attacking me for “bringing up palestine” when i was actually referencing the distinctly american school shootings that kirk found acceptable (his own words). funny your instinct was to defend genocide anyways! nice lil depraved cherry on top!