What we have here is a classic thumb in the apple pie situation and grandma is mad as hell.

Who up shining their moon rn?

Anyone going to Destroyer in Columbus on Tuesday?

man idk if I’m lucky or pissed that I wasn’t in Columbus today. Them boys woulda caught hands 💯

Had a dream where I was rude to restaurant staff & woke up feeling guilty. So that settles it, I am soft.

you know what fucking sucks? yard work. not cut out for yard work. it’s like laundry times ten. hate it.

There seems to be inconsistency in Grimace’s size over the years. How big is Grimace?

first: mewithoutyou last: Beyonce best: future islands worst: glass animals most surprising: purity ring seen the most: local natives next: nude party? anyone going?

Skinamarinky dinky-dink Skinamarinky Doo Ba-ba-dook

It’s the time of year when I leave my jacket in the car and the next morning I say “shit” then grab a different jacket and slowly accumulate all my jackets in the car.

Everyone in Ohio who voted Yes can have one inside cig as a treat.

Everyone talking about the stuff they didn’t have on their bingo cards for 2023 … I don’t think that’s how bingo works?

first work day of 2024 so naturally I started 1.5 hours late so everyone knows new year, same me

The kid from Newsies seeing all the tweets about that politician who k*!!3d himself yesterday.

I’m gonna put on my my my my my pants and shoes