bad news for chocolate chip cookies: i woke up today

Poor, depressed, and still on her socials. #MyBrotherJustAnotherMe

Middle school me was up at 6 am reading the Fortnite patch notes

Handsome single man in his late twenties can’t even join a pottery studio without having his intentions questioned

Door dashing a chicken patty sandwich from a middle school

i don't know how to flirt, I told her she's a pillar of the community

The greatest point guard of all-time. No debate.

imagine leaving a sneaky link in 1867 and you go outside and your horse is dead

I’m sexting with this girl and on my life she’s using ChatGPT

fatass friend recognized the chip brand my friend was eating in a call by the crunch i am friends with literal celestial beings

People should start tailgating before movies. Firing up the grill in the AMC parking lot.

i let my dick make decisions sometimes, call that cocknitive thinking

my broke buddy got twins on the way and he hit a $400 parlay the other night and ordered a parrot online

Showing up 20 minutes late to work with a huge ice cream cone

To the untrained eye I may appear retarded

My boy ain’t been on the game in a few weeks and he just had a baby… so we playing tonight and this nigga is ASS! Just go be a father bro, it’s over ✌🏾😭