it's 6am in the winter and you have to get up for work

What my boyfriend sees when I get close so he can give me a kiss on the forehead:

“source?” my gut feeling, reddit, my intuition, super symbolic dream, and the vibe i got

Have we considered a lifelong Accelerated Reader program where grown adults in their 30s and 40s can get free movie tickets and better airline seats if they read books

As a child I thought adults were exaggerating when they said, “if it’s not one thing, it’s another,” but now that I am an adult I can confirm that if it’s not one thing, it’s definitely another.

your honor who gives a fuck lowkey

Ads dragging you to playstore because you missed the x by 0.001cm

i can't even think straight knowing a package got delivered while im not home

If I die after I pay my rent sit me on the couch till da 30th

bruh what CVS even stand for

the humiliation ritual of having to be nice to a creepy man because you don’t want him to kill you

I don’t lose hyperfixations they just go dormant until I hear something about them again like a sleeper agent

the women's bathroom at a club is the closest we'll ever get to Barbie World

Why is Auntie Anne's only in the mall? Bitch, spread tf out!

I’m Californian before I’m American