A glass of milk sounds so good right now.

Brought a tear to my eye

Alright, let’s see how this goes.

Went to get tested for strep, doc just told me I “have one of the more impressive throats” he’s ever seen. W.

Costco samples are going crazy right now. One lady asked if I wanted to try a lozenge and Olay facial spray. Both tasted like shit.

Taylen Green to an open receiver:

We just need 5 more field goals

#NewProfilePic

BREAKING🚨: Per Sources, Tennessee QB Nico Iamaleava is out (gonorrhea) for Saturday’s game against Arkansas.

Why is Colt 45 stuck in my head at 6 AM

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Greg Abbott not standing during the National Anthem is extremely unpatriotic.

Luka Doncic trade the worst since Biden traded Brittney Griner for the biggest weapon trafficker on earth with Russia

Jerry Jones realizing he’s not the dumbest sports GM in Dallas anymore

My new years resolution is to listen to more Iggy Azalea

Boys are so funny because one second you’re talking about their childhood dog and the next you’ve seen every single picture in their camera roll

Saying, “Did they steal this from Lil Wayne?”, when ‘Island In The Sun’ comes on

Anthony Rizzo will retire as a Chicago Cub this Saturday at Wrigley. Ending it where he belongs.