"Only say yes to caffeine, kids. Drugs are for losers."

Unceremoniously lays down on his couch with his head laying against the footrest.

"I should probably get to know people. . .Then again, wHO IN THE RIGHT MIND GREETS NEIGHBORS AT 1AM--" It was more common than he thought.

"There was a bar around this town, right? Crap, I should've drawn a map or something. . ."

"Right-o." ("Is the bar actually run by a Jim and a Kim? It would only make sense. Couldn't they think of something else?")

Why does he hear tapping on the windows. That is never a good sound to hear at 1am.

Heelies to escape the feelies

"I've got an entire cupboard filled with cheesy, antique mugs I've gotten throughout mostly Christmas parties."

Is this heaven? It has to be. Why else would he feel this lightheaded? Thank god he stocked up on stomach medicine. #ChristianCream

He's awkwardly making his way towards the toppings. You could barely see the ice cream under all the whipped cream. #ChristianCream

--crisis over crumbling waffle cone. At least it hadn't plopped onto the floor from how many toppings he'd piled onto it. #ChristianCream

"Wait-- Nevermind, I take it back." He should probably get his mind off the matter with some brownies. #ChristianCream

my mocha has turned sour at this display of insanity

[I wanna make one of the dads but there's like twenty-thousand josephs and i have no clue who else I could pick-]

i only speak the language of beans

"Apparently people still buy dead batteries off the internet. . .They're all free of charge." That one made even him flinch.

[dad jokes aside, i should really start some threads on here.]