I like goin to the gym at 3pm bc it’s just all the people with mysterious income sources

hyperboles and satire be whooping their ass

jules and her sugar daddy

As an aside, gotta love Maul trying to run over a child just for the love of the game. He had no clue who Anakin was

Meg Stalter and John Early should make a movie where they are grown up Sharpay and Ryan from High School Musical

I like reading X-Men comics cause there's always pulling some bullshit like "You're saying the original mutant of which the X gene comes from is..." "That's right... Jesus Christ of Nazareth"

i once tried journaling but it looked like i was writing a suicide note

Lots of people get into relationships for the wrong reasons for example I just found myself thinking “if I had a boyfriend to cook for I’d generate twice as many vegetable scraps to feed my worms and they’d produce double the compost”

if i had a nickel everytime imax replied to a tweet about robert pattinson yaoi, i'd have two nickels. which isn't alot, but it's weird that it happened twice

paul atreides telling him through the subtitles to stand up and say “Let’s Go Knicks” and him doing so immediately 😭

big fan of how they described the measurements here

Infinity stones for the Latina community

HOT TAKE: PEOPLE WHO FEEL HOT SHOULD DECIDE THE TEMPERATURE OF A ROOM. PEOPLE WHO FEEL COLD SHOULD WEAR A SWEATER.

hoje minha psicóloga disse que eu não preciso aceitar o comportamento do outro apenas porque entendo os motivos dele agir assim

The drug test lady told me don't warm the pee up dat hot nomo but she gon take it

If my wife is in the bathtub for too long our little white freak of a dog comes and lays like this and makes weird smacking noises with his mouth . He is so awesome

no cigarettes adult milkshakes

watching a documentary that follows an unhinged feud between a horse trainer & a former client. this is how the man describes the horse feud

No job can ever make me feel bad for using my PTO. People be like I have 709 hours of pto. Good for you, buddy. I have 4 hours and I’m about to use that