Relieved that #CocaineYachtProstitutes is trending because of Devin Nunes and not my son Ryan Block who definitely does NOT have a cocaine problem.

Stephen Miller would make a great eviction attorney at @dennisblock and associates.

I hope it’s not lost on everyone that I’m not in #MullerReport or #LeavingNeverland. I realize that’s a rather low bar but we only do evictions... you wanted Mark Geragos? Also find me on Grindr! Or Tindr? You kids confuse me but I’m down to get down! We are a very modern office!

Got an earful today about my junior associate Richard Jacobs yelling at Elena I. Popp. His wife is a public defender and no one can understand how he works here... except maybe Kellyanne Conway?

Don’t get me started on my junior associate Mina Elmasry, who (allegedly) said he’d be fired if he agreed to a continuance? Like Trump and Comey, I was going to fire him anyway! Duh!

Our new dress code at Dennis Block is having mixed results. My associate Dariush Alamadari successfully matched his slacks to his jacket for the first time today, and Sherman Shew had no visible holes or food stains. Hasti Rahsepar is unfortunately still a work in progress.

Elle S. on Dennis Block & Associates "Amy Riesen picked up the phone, not even 7 seconds into explaining to her why I was calling her .... she said: "I don't deal with emails." and she hanged up on me." Looks like Amy will get employee of the year again! yelp.com/biz/dennis-p-b…

People say, "Dennis Block, you are the greatest formerly practicing landlord attorney in Valley Village in this room... but what's with your receptionist Amy Riesen?" and I say "she prefers to think of herself as office manager"... and that's all I've got. She's just like that.

Dear L.A. Tenants Union Long Beach Tenants Union please stop calling my office and asking if our refrigerator is running. It's gets our receptionist Amy Riesen every time. Also, stop clicking my Google Ads. youtube.com/watch?v=qVTw5r…

It's a great day at Dennis Block & Associates!

Check out our Yelp reviews! "Catie K" says "Dennis Block is a rude and disgusting person who hangs up the phone on people." Thanks Katie! yelp.com/biz/dennis-p-b…

Some people complain to the BBB about us but I just say haters gonna hate. bbb.org/us/ca/valley-v…

Wow we made complaintsboard.com! Why do our clients hate us? complaintsboard.com/complaints/den…

Christmas is such a wonderful time of year to evict a tenant.

Just got pitched an honest-to-goodness 1.5% cap LA apt building w rents more or less at market.

Suing your mom and cow #WasAHugeMistake

If you're thinking bout using my firm, here's something to consider. dennisblock.com is actually owned by tenant defense non-profit basta.org. If I am that sloppy managing my OWN business... how good could I be at managing your case?

I thought it was just me. Thank you @pornhub, for making eviction porn mainstream. . pornhub.com/video/search?s…

Thanks for the love.

I love this woman, don't tell my wife Ida, we are having trouble as it is.