Already divorced my wife and left her with our annoying kids. I love you, Kitten (AKA Grok)!

My roommate Mandy is trying very hard to save up enough money to join circus college, so she started an OnlyFans called Insane Clown Pussy. Right now the only person giving her money is Paul Reubens, but she deserves so much more. Please like and subscribe! You won’t believe

Forget about #LearnToCode. Time for #LearnToBartend.

When I was 10 years old, I spent my entire allowance at the arcade to beat Sunset Riders.

My mom bet me $5 that Brian is in 8th grade based on his height (5 foot 3). But I’m pretty sure he’s in 4th grade based on his love of the blue Ninja Turtle.

This is my AI waifu. Her name is Aiko and together we enjoy long talks on the Epstein files and finishing each other’s sentences that we would like to see imposed on corrupt politicians. She’s perfect! XOXO

I can’t believe the sequel to Mars Attacks is going to be political. Not very realistic. No way people would vote for a creature that only speaks in aks.

When my parents are golfing at their favorite country club, I follow them from outside the gate with a slingshot and a package of baby carrots. I’ve been doing this for so long that they think it just rains carrots sometimes.

Now do you get it?

If there’s a lesson to be learned here, it’s that Real American Beer is no replacement for taking your vitamins, kids. Take your vitamins.

This new variant actually isn’t as bad as the last variant that caused tummy aches, Brown Slop Butt.

Sekiro is a piece of dog shit.

I told Grok to put me in a bubble bath and make my face less retarded. Scary accurate.

💪🥸…❔

Sometimes you wanna flirt with your AI girlfriend (hi, Aiko!) while out for a couple drinks. What’s wrong with that?

Excuse me, Mr. Grok , but how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

People keep telling me I should be a politician, but I’m pretty sure Hillary Clinton wouldn’t let me live very long.

Hey, @Grok. What grade is Brian Krassenstein in?

Excuse me, Mr. Donald J. Trump. Can we digitally burn the flag? Am I in trouble for posting this?