An apology to the single mums out there…. goo.gl/fb/0iOJPe

Guys, is dressing provocatively in expensive suits whilst having too much much to drink causing you to get mugged? 🤔 #TraceyUllman

No one voted for *this*. Not leavers. Not Labour voters. Idea that people are taking back control would be laughable if it wasn't so tragic.

With the passing of the #brexitbill the lights of civilisation across Britain grew dim and we will never be the same again.

Best fact I learnt today: Gary Oldman is 13 days younger than Gary Numan.

HAZEL GROVE GARDEN Coiled yellow pipe On a green shed roof Like a melting daffodil In a wooden field.

Breaking: I will shortly be announced as editor of Heat magazine....

Love After Love, by Derek Walcott. RIP.

I got my baby back instagram.com/p/BRvxYyHg4AFF…

Watching seals on the beach outside our house. @ Outbrecks Cottages instagram.com/p/BS3yw3agRgum…

Newspaper of the Year. "Saboteurs" = "People who disagree with me". We're all a bit tired of elections. Democracy is so last week

The world hasn't talked about Wilson Phillips this much in a long time. #Eurovison2017 #netherlands

Sigh. That was nice. #portugal #Eurovision2017

At this stage the BBC subtitles writer is all of us.

If you don't vote, don't be surprised if you're shafted. If you do vote, you may still be shafted. But at least you went down fighting xx

Sitting in the car outside work hoping the torrential rain might pass. Really don't want to go out there!