BREAKING: at least 8 people trampled to death at last night’s Alex G concert in Lawrence, KS. Halfway through his set the popular multi-instrumentalist began speaking in tongues and bathing in his own blood with a large sign on stage that said "Travis Scott made me do this"

the Cheaper by the Dozen films make me want to stick my head in the oven

smoking some decaf crack (only baking soda)

this is an ultrasound only THREE days after my wife and her boyfriend started having unprotected sex, show this to anyone who still thinks abortion is okay 💔👶🏻🙏🏻

accidentally started recording audio during my run this morning

a freudian slip is when someone slips and falls on a puddle of their own cum, and also they wanna fuck their mom i think ? idk i didn’t read his book or whatever

i think it’s hilarious that this little creature lives in my house and is my friend

the virgin "lo-fi beats to relax and study to" vs. the chad "hi-fi beats to huff glue and panic to"

McDonalds sprite tastes different than other sprite 💬 500M 🔁 80M ❤️ 4B ℹ️this Twitter user has been awarded an unprecedented 5 Nobel Peace Prizes for the observation made in this tweet

huge W for bisexuals

i hate it when people are hot, stop doing that !

what is Toad and Toadette’s relationship

there are more of us than them there are more of us than them there are more of us than them there are more of us than them there are more of us than them there are more of us than them there are more of us than them there are more of us than them there are more of us than them t

bro you need to stop acting like such an asshole right now or else i’m gonna have to come over there and kiss you tenderly on the lips