Unpopular oppion: Marry Berry is just Bruce Forsyth in drag

Do no harm but take no shit

Do people actually use the word "Rad" in real life?

"Are you stressed?" Me: No Also me:

I'm not a real grown up, I'm just a child in disguise

If my wee legs could reach, I would kick you in the face

If you believe me when I say I'll be there soon we obviously aren't close

Caffeine is the only thing that will get me through this day

Ah yes, the 2 genders

Me: *Needs more attention than your average baby* Also me: *Crippling social anxiety* Its a struggle

Ignoring people for weeks then jumping back into the group chat like:

"How much attention to you need?" Me:

My friends cat matches her wallpaper

Being good with kids automatically makes any guy 10x more attractive

On to my 3rd coffee of the day and it's only 9am

My 4 y/o nephew is in the toilet shouting "Get out poo poo get out!" 😂😂

"Would you like to join my religion?" What's your religion? "Girls in suits" I'm interested