If you get time check out my new movie podcast with David Earl podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/ran…

podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/met…

New episode! SISTER ACT podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/sis…

If you're liking the random movie generator pod, please please help us and rate it!! It puts a spring in my bloomin step!!

This is a controversial tweet, but Tescos museli is a total con. This evening I counted 28 raisins in one bag.Alpen is 82.You do the Maths.

Sat next to an OAP on the bus today, she was ‘bursting' with stories. I missed my stop, I was so engrossed by her London Blitz anecdotes !

Just had a glorious dream, I was riding bareback on a donkey in Blackpool with Claire Balding.Claire was holding onto the reigns, as I held onto her with dear life.It was intoxicating!. She's worth every penny of my TV licence fee.

Last night I went speed dating. Didn't find love, but made 14 great new friends. I strolled out of Yates Wine Lodge feeling like a Champion. That's enough people to start organising Sunday morning 7 aside footie. Its a win, win situation.

Watching Y.Tube & wondering whatever happened to Roland Rat? He was just a natural TV Star! If Schofields still around, why isn’t Roland?

This afternoon, I went to the park & flew my Mr T kite. It looked amazing - B.A’s face hovering above the trees & houses, like a 'Guardian' looking over Brighton!

Had a dream last night, where I relived a school time memory, when someone stole my sandwiches and replaced them with a note that simply read 'Cheers for lunch you big blonde boll**k!' Kids can be cruel.

The neighbours dog has just messed on my lawn AGAIN!! Here's a tip for those of you having to constantly pick up K9 poo.Leave it to freeze over night, and then go around with a large barbecue skewer stick and start picking it up.

Last night was filled with very unsettling dreams - at one point I dreamt that I'd turned into a hawk-man? Half bird of prey, half David Edwards.I soared through the sky whilst defecating in mid air - it was incredibly liberating.I really recommend it.

A chap in the gym asked me if I would SPOT THEM, whilst they lifted weights.It was wonderful, I really felt part of the gang.For him it was slightly less positive, I really need to work on my upper body strength and emergency first aid procedures

Locked myself out of the house today, but through great perseverance managed to push myself through the cat flap. It was very satisfying, it felt like I was being born all over again. I very much recommend it.

Just got off the Oblivion Ride at Alton Towers. its NOT for the faint hearted. I lost 4 pounds of loose change from my chino pockets & then an additional 2 pounds of body weight through abrupt vomit explosions.

Witnessed 2 GBH Seagull attacks today. Brighton is turning into a Hitchcockian blood bath. We can't be dictated to by these white winged brutes.

I’m currently considering hiring a dating coach for weekly tutorial sessions –going to different locations such as a Pub, ASDA, queuing at the Post Office and with professional support interacting with women. Anyone had any experience of this service?

Call out to my followers! If your bored on Bank Hol Mon, I'm planning a solo trip to Legoland. PLEASE, come along & join me. I'll be stood underneath the life size lego giraffe, wearing matching 'Hulk Green' coloured chinos & fleece, with a welcoming smile.