"...Why is our entire economy built on banana exports and a carnival? These people are upset about the education system, but there are no educated jobs here! ...And they're all ignoring uranium deposits in the ground! We could have a thriving mining industry!"

...Bite!

"...I dunno, you kinda taste like rock candy. Or a sugar cube that soaked up just a single drop of fruit juice."

"Yeah, people with a foot fetish are wild." ...Kiwi, don't pointedly stare at the audience like that. "But what I'm tasting might be shampoo or soap, not candy crystals."

"...I'm missing so much context. How do you even get tied up by spaghetti? The stuff falls apart if you put any pressure on it."

"...I can't escape crazy shit no matter where I go." That's a big sigh from Kiwi... But with a clap, a giant pot and lid slam into place around the spaghetti monster... Aaand there's a fire... "At least this let's me work off some frustration by cooking something to death."

"...I don't think we need Shiori to have any strange pets. Or any more hopping into weird dimensions. ...Or any more stress on my heart in general. I already have to entirely reform the economy and government of an island nation on top of the usual insanity around here."

"...I think I'll just pull a classic Kiwi move and destroy their nation." Kiwi's being quick to resort to violence again, huh? "What you're describing sounds more like a political marriage than a pet."

"Shiori should stick to marrying something human. If she wants to hunt the cookie realms for sport, I can just take her to do it."

"Yeah, I'm the evil friend."

...Feeling punchy.

"Happy birthday, Skyrim."

Kiwi just evaporated into a poof of blue butterflies -

"Leave my glow in the dark 'drugs' alone. It's just highly addictive radioactive candy. ...I had to verify my email for this-" Oh God, more green women.

"Because if I didn't convert them to my candy operation, the chicken man was going to die and cause a good chicken restaurant to shut down. I need to delay that so I can launch a takeover first." ...Kiwi is food motivated.

"Wrong chicken guy. I can get the Colonel's chicken anywhere."

"Happy Flat Fuck Friday. Go eat nothing but a tortilla or else." ...Chat, Kiwi's losing her grip on sanity again.

"My ex wife is prepared to snipe me with a slipper if I say anything."