I don't give a rat's ass if Kristi Noem's husband likes to wear women's clothing, and you shouldn't either

I'm trying to re-home a poodle that barks A LOT. If anyone is interested, let me know and I'll hop over my neighbour's fence and get it for you.

Happy Easter!

I used to hear this shit when I bartended. "I always wanted to try a Bloody Mary, but I don't like Tomato Juice" Then ur not gonna like a Bloody Mary.l

Telling everyone how impressive my first gay bareback orgy was

They won’t impeach him because most of them will go to jail when his presidency is over

It's Tuesday. Taco Tuesday. He is literally doing the TACO thing on a Tuesday.

Again… Please please please don’t get scammed by this If anybody messages you asking for your vote, it’ll skim your login details and steal your account Pls share as so many people are falling for this

Need to bring back the phrase "fuzzy, furry tuna taco."

It’s John Isacunt

Saw these. Thought of you.

I hate when I'm at a concert and the singer points the mic at the crowd to sing I didn't pay $100 to hear Suzie sing "Rollin'" u sing that shit Fred!

Pickles On KitKats Evoke Response #TurnPOKERintoAnAcronym

If you're talking with someone in public and you lower your voice when mentioning a racial monolith, no matter how innocent the convo is, you sound like a bigot.

Yesterday I spotted an albino Dalmatian. It was the least I could do for the poor guy.

👏Y'ALL👏CAN👏GO👏AHEAD👏AND👏STOP👏WAITING👏FOR👏THEM👏TO👏TURN👏AWAY👏FROM👏THE👏WALKING👏CIRCUS👏PEANUT.👏ONLY👏TEN👏FOLKS👏RAN👏FROM👏JONESTOWN👏AT👏THE👏END.👏JUST👏FUCKING👏VOTE👏LIKE👏HELL!👏

11: Ma, question. Me: Yes? 11: What if every happy little tree that Bob Ross painted was actually a picture from memory of the tree in the woods where he buried the bodies of his victims. Me:......... 11:........ Me: Umm...... 11: Exactly. Y'all.......

Don't ever watch how they make Taco Bell Food. It's like watching a handyman caulk ur windows. Everything is shot through a gun on a tortilla and shell

Got the granddaughter over and she bought me a bucket from the garage sale. Not a 5 gallon bucket, just a mop bucket. Apparently I needed a bucket I can cross that off my Bucket List