“I mean, I pretty much just do what they tell me.” -Chipotle Line Cook bit.ly/3arAmz9

Flying to Denver, don’t have enough leg room to properly kick the seat in front of me :/

I really wish people would stop drastically using the scenarios of rape or incest as the sole premise for an abortion. A woman doesn’t have to be in a traumatic situation for it to be reason enough. In fact there is zero explanation that needs to be given.

WHAT DO WE WANT? TIME TRAVEL JOKES! WHEN DO WE WANT THEM?

Next month I am traveling from NYC to Chicago, the 3rd busiest air route in the country, which takes 19.5 hours via Amtrak on a daily train. This is the same distance as Beijing to Shanghai, which takes only 4.3 hours and leaves every 20 minutes. This country can do better.

SO BASICALLY YOUR GRANDDAD DIES AND LEAVES YOU HIS FARM AND ITS ALL OVERGROWN AND SHIT AND YOU HAVE TO TURN IT INTO A PROFITABLE THING, BUT YOU ALSO GET TO MEET ALL THE PEOPLE IN TOWN AND GO ON DATES WITH THEM AND MARRY THEM, ALSO THERE ARE MONSTERS AND STUFF YOU HAVE TO FIGHT

Lets give away some tickets! We have 4 FREE tickets to give all you have to do is retweet this for a chance to win! Puck Drop is 7:30pm Friday night! Whats Up Tucson Tucson AZ Tucson Convention Center Downtown Tucson #BearDown #hockey #Tucson #Arizona #Wildcats

TRAINS we want TRAINS

MrBeast Re-Blinds 1,000 People bit.ly/3LcBo5m

Nice try, boat

It’s about time I give this guy a taste of his own medicine. Using this picture I’ve deduced he’s on Mt. Kilimanjaro.

FUDGE IM WANTING MORE TELL THE WORLD TAX THE POOR

French people should start off in jail and prove their way out

Shower Food Review 99: Cinnabon - It's Friday night & Im headed to my favorite bar so Im having my weekly pregame Cinnabon. This bad boy clogs up my system making it difficult for alcohol to be absorbed by my body allowing me to stay sober & alert no matter how much I drink. 9/10

he’s still getting absolutely torched

They shoulda just done hot ones and whoever lived can have it

Conan O'Brien (the level guide from Lego Batman 3) will return to host the Oscars in 2026.