i dont have time for this

Maybe this is what will finally do it

I'm a real foodie. This is my appetizer before dinner tonight 😌

People are saying they won't eat at Cracker Barrel anymore because *checks notes* the restaurant said it welcomes lgbtq+ people? Surely I've misread 💀💀💀

Imagine being cherished. How embarrassing

*talking to youngsters* Man, that harmonica in Billy Joel's Piano Man really ATE, am I right????

I'm just glad I'm finally at the age where I'm not too young to be bitter.

Take me back to the simpler times 🥲

0.5 baby 🥹

I am ob👏sessed with Cardi B on the stand. Omg Defense attorney: Did you call her fat? Cardi: No. I called her a bitch.

know logically that they’re not but backflips rlly feel like a new invention. simply cant picture a dude in a powdered wig doing one

gotta be devastating to eat shit on cobblestone. your horse watching too

Wide awake because of mosquito-bitten legs. Why must I be so tender and delicious 😭😭

Rain Drops Media Dog's happiness after learning that her family also adopted her sister..❤️🙏

Guaranteed, the people who think AI will take over the world do not have a Roomba. 😖