🔥The 9th Round of Easy Loan, Earn $40 Reward is in progress❗️ ⏰ Promotion Period: January 15th - Feburary 15th, 2025 👉 Register now and check more details at gate.io/campaigns/358

What say you and I sit on a park bench and make up stories about the people who walk by.

Life is short. Fuck it up while you still have the chance to enjoy it.

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Remember the early 80’s before body wash we used a bar of soap with someone else’s pube hair on it .... Good Times

*pumps up the jam*

Quit faking it, because I realized I'd never make it.

Are bathroom attendants supposed to help you wipe?

Cereal tastes better at night, should we all just switch to doing it that way

Forever said by fuckheads means fuck all

One wish, billions of stars.

I would tell you more about myself, but that would probably ruin it

not off the market, not on the market, but a secret third thing (not a commodity)

I'll let you win an argument but I'd never let you win at Mario Kart... I do have principles

don’t make me come over there and love you

I'm nothing if not disgusting.

COP: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" ME: "The McRib is back?!"

Just another in a long line of meaningless tweets

Gonna start replying "thank you for your service" to all the women posting tan lines.

mind if i scream until my lungs explode

I'd like to imagine that in the infinite multiverse, there's one world where you and I are together sitting, watching the sunset, and holding hands.