Who would have thought that the Bloods and conservatives would share the same feelings about the halftime show?

Ironically, that hit was the result of Will power. #ocars

You were watching the channel with the Oscars, I was watching a man channel his inner Oscar...De La Hoya. #oscars

Chris got rocked. #oscars

Will just left Fresh prints on his face. #oscars

If he gets arrested, people would start wearing shirts that say, FREE WILL. But, wearers would just look like they are philosophy majors.

When I see someone with ruined teeth, I wonder if it's years of meth or Grape-Nuts cereal.

It's stupid when people think that a person's personality is the result of their zodiac sign. I'm glad us Pisces are more rational minded.

People often end up having a child of the zodiac sign that they hate. Maybe if you weren't such a Gemini, you would be better at planning.

I think a relationship between a yuppie and a hoodrat could work out. They both would happily name their child Patagonia.

When the fires are over, Justin Trudeau will use the remaining char for blackface.

I will be making people laugh tonight at 8pm at Broadway Comedy Club

All the dudes named Tanner are anything but their name.

Desi Christians be like, ‘Ashes to ashes, rusk to rusk.’

Is there a racist Spanish group called the Que Que Que?

Come through for this 🔥 lineup at Stand Up NY!

WEDNESDAY!

Barely legal porn is a lie. It turns out the actresses were citizens this entire time.