ICHOR, YOUCHOR, OH MY GODS THERE'S SO MUCH BLOOD.

GODS, WHAT I'D DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR RIGHT NOW. (HINT: IT PROBABLY INVOLVES SEPARATING SOMEONE'S RIBS FROM THEIR SPINE)

I aspire to be the strongest in my bloodline, but lord knows there was a 6'4" behemoth of a man named Björn Jenkins who drank mead from a skull for breakfast. I cannot compete with my mason jar and chocolate milk, but dang it I will try

Utilizing ancient hymns, I summon the strength of my ancestors. Berserker blood flows through my veins as I spike the volleyball with the will of one thousand drengr. Sarah doesn't stand a chance

WHAT IF I WERE ACTUALLY AN ANCIENT SHOE HORN (RATHER THAN A HORN HORN)?

Dale and I made our settlement too close to the black forest. We were sipping on raspberry ale when the troll emerged from the xylem and phloem. All we could do was call on Odin to give us strength, and wack at the troll's stumpy legs

HOT VIKINGS IN YOUR AREA ARE WAITING TO MARAUD YOU.

THIS HALLOWEEN I AM GOING AS A MUTE.

When nothing works but earth would you do the robot bank lady's telephone voice just say how many empty bottles I've got and if I am overdrawn just say you're out of order the whole damned containers of liquid or a message is out of order