Having to tell the Amazon driver the year I was born cos there’s a butter spreading knife in my parcel 🙈

Imagine my embarrassment when starting my falls prevention class and I trip up on the strap of my mat bag 🙈

I wonder if pigeons get bored of chatting the same rubbish, over and over 😵‍💫

Still tingling from seeing vincent Tango Passions last night 😍😍😍 I’ve seen all of his shows and this one is the best. Unbelievable 🤩

Happiness is opening a box of Quality Street and scoffing all the purple ones 😈

For anyone experiencing crapulence (sickness from overindulgence) and crambazzlement (looking prematurely aged from excess partying), I’ve gathered a few soothingly joyful words to savour. inews.co.uk/opinion/words-…

Such a fun and crazy morning of Zumba, supported by Royal Voluntary Service #FTFE and a visit from Liz Kendall ☺️ let’s get that Zumba class organised at the Houses of Parliament asap 😄

My moment of the week: Zumba Gold at Braunstone Baptist Church with amazing fitness instructor Nic. A great way to stay fit, active and meet new people - part of Royal Voluntary Service’s brilliant “first time for everything” programme for the over 55s. Just don’t call them old….!

Diversity on #DOI just now 🫡🤩🥳🤯😮🌟

Please please please BBC Radio 1 don’t let Jamie Laing go 😭😭😭 he’s hilair

RIEP #PaulOGrady national treasure. Dog lover. In fact lover of all animals. Hilarious. Heart of gold. Common as dirt 🥰

I just entered @AutoTrader_UK’s monthly️ #ElectricCarGiveaway & you can too! This month’s prize is a BYD ATTO 3 worth over £38k! It’s free to enter & you have until 30th April. All information (including Ts&Cs) can be found here: bit.ly/3xDYOHy

Loved Dan Nightingale at BlackHorse Aylestone tonight with my 2 besties 💕 and a whole row of noisy c*nts allegedly all called Jack Wilson 🤣🤣🤣

You know you’re getting old when your cycle helmet leaves a dent in your forehead that doesn’t go away for hours 🤦🏼‍♀️

Tonight I am going to see my lifelong Jenny Eclair and I’m so excited I could piss glitter 😄

Nella stating “I’m just a girl” as a reason not to be strong, brave or resilient is really not appealing to my feminist sensibilities 😡 #ImACelebrity

I wouldn’t recommend it 😫 pressure builds up inside as you blend and you end up with boiling hot soup spurting everywhere 😨

MARIAH CAREY plus special guests NILE RODGERS & CHIC and ETERNAL. Exclusive UK concert at the Sandringham Estate 15/8/2025: arep.co/Zry2p1 This is on the list 👌🏼🙏🏼

OMG Jenny Eclair I’m going to need physiotherapy tomorrow, and that’s just from the first half 🤣🤣🤣 #jokesjokesjokes

The traitors aren’t clever…..it’s just the faithfuls are all as thick as mince 👀#TheTraitors