Hey @optus ... where’s my f**king internet?!?! Again?!?!

My mum, who does not use a computer much less social media, asked me today if my “sexual preferences had changed. Apparently based on a pic a concerned relative had seen online. So here for you viewing pleasure, again is a great photo, of myself and The Machine bert kreischer

Hey @17hatshq - how longs this maintenance break going to last?

Body shots fired! It’s the return of The Machine bert kreischer Enmore Theatre tickets: acquired!

Fraser Anning's gonna be held accountable for his free speech everywhere he goes

Wouldn’t it be great if throwing eggs at Fraser Anning Official became a thing. Everywhere he goes, a random egg just gets lobbed at him. Constantly. Like, EVERY time he left the house. #freetheeggboy

Awwwwww shit son. It’s your boy bert kreischer

I’ve been a Balmain Wests Tigers fan for 37 of my 42 years. I’ve hung on by my fingernails at times, through the lean times and the good. But I’m fucking done. Making Benji Marshall finish his outstanding career at another club is a fucking disgrace.

As part of my routine responsibilities as an MP I was volunteering at a mass vaccination centre in Sydney when I was startled by a deer and accidentally slipped and injected 160 boys from a wealthy private school who happened to be nearby with the Pfizer vaccine.

I’m devastated for his family today and sad for comedy that we have lost one of the very best. Undisputed, undefeated, carrot in a box champion. I will miss him.

Petition to make this picture of Sean Lock the replacement for the Leonardo Di Caprio in Django Unchained picture for when you have absolutely got someone.

I’m not sure if anybody else has said “Eat shit Lyle” .... but it’s a Congo line I’ll happily join. #eatshitlyle

Hey Ausgrid .... any word on a power outage, Charlestown South/Gateshead?

"Kate and I entered, on roller skates, to De La Soul's song ‘A Roller Skating Jam Named Saturdays’. Kate is a very proficient skater. I am not. Originally we were going to it make our bridal dance, but I had some concerns about the consumption of alcohol..."Monty King #fun