Hello fellow Texans 🤠 Get all your voting-related questions answered here. Looking forward to the 8th 🇺🇸

If Elon Musk was serious about making Twitter a a more fun place he would institute an “Opposite Day” patch. On Opposite Day, the intention and vocabulary of all tweets would be reversed for one glorious day a year. Oh yeah, and everyone’s profile pic gets a little mustache too.

FYI: The new Slipknot album rules, and @jayweinbergdrum is amazing. Jersey FTW!

ALERT 🚨 Tornado spotted East Texas

If Elon Musk added a “swear jar” feature, he would make his money back overnight. I’ll accept full credit for saving the business during a catered lunch on Elon’s private yacht (that I assume he has) thank you very much. 🛥

I saw Rocky Horror at the Alamo Drafthouse in Dallas Texas this past Halloween. Life is crazy. Show was awesome. 👄

This is a superb visualization of European history (1500-2022). x.com/WallStreetSilv…

I freaking love Nick Offerman. If I had a family crest, he’d be on it and the crest would probably say something like…

🇺🇸US National Politics in a nutshell: 1. Issue is raised. 2. The news cycle reduces the issue to two, diametrically opposed party-affiliated positions. 3. Voters pick a side and condemn the other. 4. Repeat.

Legitimate Twitter tactic employed by many: “Go deep into strangers replies and then respond like you were part of the original conversation.” 😬 My strategy for overcoming this compulsion is to always post something friendly and maybe a little silly if I’m so invested.

New American Amendment: if you disagree, be cool about it. For example: “Hey man, taxes are a drag, am I right?!” See how easy it is?

.CNN should talk to me instead, I’ve been right on with my high level national predictions for almost ten years straight. Where’s my tv deal? I’ll do it for free, like that soccer ball octopus that everyone loves. 🐙 ⚽️

I freaking LOVE Craig Robinson. #waitwaitdonttellme #waitwait #npr open.spotify.com/episode/4SWmsp…

What happened to the headphone wires? They were the only option, and then suddenly, they disappeared. Poof.

How much $$$ do you think this is worth? (not that I'm looking to sell, just curious) 🤔 #ElonMusk #autograph

Yeah, that pretty much sums me up lol.

Why should I post anything here? I have a strong feeling no one is going to see it.