82% of people who are retirement age think that everyone who's not them should be working very very hard.

not me trying to take a pretty autumn jog only to find that it’s 77 degrees as soon as i step outside

it's difficult to think of a more improbable sentence than "the seattle mariners are running a train on justin verlander in game 1 of the ALDS in houston" and yet here we are

back in 2013 everyone lost their shit when dictionaries updated the definition of "literally" but no one seems to have batted an eye at the fact that, somewhere along the way, "regime" and "regimen" have been permitted to mean the same thing when they definitely do not.

Can’t stop thinking about how many modest homes and nutritious meals could be had for $44,000,000,000

Even before this Elon was a competitor for one of the all-time wackest posters on this site. A sweaty reply-guy for the worst accounts on here, a joke-thief and a bore, and a relentless, charmless ROFL emoji donkey in every facet. At this point he's clearly the worst poster ever.

“Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit: There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect.” —Frank Wilhoit

my friend's four-year-old, turning off all the lights in our house: "let's have a tired party!" me, a thirty-five-year-old man: "buddy, my entire life is a tired party"

just realized the “millennium baby” is 23 tonight and my night is ruined

the government's social security website literally has service hours for when you are and are not allowed to sign into it.

you've heard of the kids in the hall, now get ready for

Thus we get today's information environment, which responds to a transition from four years of violent irrational madness & mass death to three years of relative scandal-free sanity & economic recovery with ... unrelenting, top-to-bottom negativity.

when a democrat gets elected, conservatives have to be governed by someone they dislike or disagree with. when a republican gets elected, progressives have to be governed by someone who might restrict their rights or outright kill them — either by policy or by force.

MLB to angel hernandez