Ungrateful bunch of dicks

The line between love and hate is so blurry when youre drunk. #whyiamcrying #wheresmyquesadilla

Just yelled at westboro crazies and they looked scared.

My life is in shambles and someone stole my debit card # again! Why does the universe hate me?

Scared and confused #pleaselord

Can't wait to see how this thing Shannon Hatch thing turns out. It's like The Wire with people I know

Just drank a 20 min energy drink so I can see Shannon Hatch's big announcement. Have no clue what's going on but now I can't wait to find out

♥♥♥♥ Katie Morgan Heidi Hamilton Dougall Fraser , david, jim and chris. #theyknowwhy

In the last 2 minutes between real life and scrolling through instagram i just saw 4 dudes ive had relations with. #ick #goaway

Vomit sex and tears: the story of my life in no specified order

I just jizzed my pants at my hot waiter at umami hollywood. Now i dont want him to see me eat.

Ok umami stop playing r & b slow jams, i already cant look my waiter in the eye. #totallywouldblowhiminthebathroom #hottestguyever

My hot waiter just called me "love" and smiled in way that is going to make have to change my panties. #hesgettingabigtip #givemeyourbigtip

I wasnt going to watch you and already sucked in The Voice

.Shakira is very genuine on The Voice ...you sucked me in!

It nights like these i wish i was on a tv show just so someone else would know the ironic subtext and i could say "i know right?"

.Shakira is so endearing on The Voice #hooked

NOW CASTING: The BIggest Loser Season 15!! thebiggestlosercasting.com Follow BiggestLoser Casting #biggestloser #weightloss

Someone brought a baby into my office and my biological clock just exploded from ticking so much.

NOW CASTING: Participants for FREE session with a LIFE COACH! LA Only! $ for your time! [email protected] #lifecoach #la #help