“I’m not gonna date I’m just gonna work on myself for a while.” *finally gets done working on myself* “Fuck I’m 60.”

Me when people say the mission impossible franchise isn’t god tier cinema

Gendered one-toilet bathrooms are stupid. Even just from a convenience standpoint.

I think the main difference between introverts and extroverts is that when an extrovert says something cringy it doesn’t haunt them for literal years.

Land of the kingdom of the planet of the galaxy of the hemisphere of the valley of the fiefdom of the prairie of the duchy of the arrondissement of the apes looks DOPE!

Time traveling Chris Hansen confronts Joseph Smith about why he there to meet a 14 year old girl.

“Be mine” is such an aggressive thing to say to somebody but I respect it.

I need more friends who are obsessed with movies.

There should be a soft mute. Like, I only wanna see this person on the tl like once a week. Ya feel?

Harry and Ron forcing Gilderoy Lockhart into the chamber of secrets.

One of the funnier things to observe as Mormons twist thier scriptures into knots in order to avoid the reality that skin means skin...is that they are accidentally unearthing additional plot holes in the text that further strengthen the argument that JS made it up.

To be clear, Mormonism has 2 options here: 1) Skin means skin 2) PROPHETS OF GOD are unreliable and inaccurate in their interpretation of scripture. Both have VERY unsavory consequences but I am baffled that believing members would think opt. 2 is something worth fighting for.

Me drinking the water from Zendaya’s desert suit filtration system

When I’m fixing to bust

Yeah dune is cool but it’s still not the best desert movie with knife fighting.

how it feels to chew 5 gum

Non Mormon Jesus Returns, Serves Wine To Everyone While Confused Members Ask Eachother If It’s A Test