Funny girls will fuck you up

falling for someone is easy, keeping the passion alive is what I crave

Welcome to your 40s: here’s your heating pad.

Do you ever just look at someone and find them visually irritating?

My husband gets into the holiday spirit by saying JESUS CHRIST over and over while putting up the Christmas tree.

Sorry I acted crazy…. It will happen again.

There are no silent nights in December when you have kids.

Never apologise for wanting attention. If anyone ever tries call you an attention seeker for posting selfies, talking about your achievements, discussing mental health issues, etc. they’re a dickhead. Attention feels good and you’re worthy of it. We all are.

About 85% of my Google searches are just typing a word to make sure I'm spelling it correctly. The other 15% are not important right now

I'm feeling pretty good today! Overthinking will ruin it in 3...2...1 Aaand it's gone.

2022 is a good year to be hit by an asteroid

Overthinkers Anonymous would be a fucking hoot

You deserve “I’ll put the toilet seat down for you” type of love

Autocorrect can eat a bag of ducks.

Every off beaten path I took led me straight to you

They say you are what you eat. I know identify as Tacos.

Has anyone licked my avi yet? I'm still waiting to be someone's TC.