Thanks to @bigjohnstrode and his cookout, we had an abnormally busy night. In light of this, our Emergency Department will be closed Tuesday, May 30. We will reopen on Wednesday, May 31. We look forward to serving all your emergency needs at that time.

What a lovely day to visit our sister hospital in Sierra Madre, California! Tell Dr. Dan Challis that Dr. Mixter sent ya!

#NewProfilePic After all, why shouldn’t we get in on the #rainbowcapitalism ? BTW, we still do not offer gender affirming care. You’ll have to drive up to Libcago for that.

#TGIF, amiright? #Hospital #HappyHour kicks off at 5:00 pm! If you come into the emergency room after that time, please be patient. Our staff is trying to have a good time. New: All inpatients will receive a double shot of premium vodka to take with their pills between 5-7 pm!

HMH is proud to sponsor Haddonfield Pride! Join us for an exciting day of performative allyship! #pride #pridefest #lgbt #lgbtq #capitalism #haddonfield #halloween

Happy birthday, Allyson! In gratitude for all the business your family has given us over the years, all medical services you receive today are free*! *Up to the cost covered by insurance; patient responsible for any and all fees, copays, and deductibles above this amount.

We wish to assure everyone that there was no fire at the hospital this morning. It was a simple misfire of the alarm. All patients are safe and secure (except for those who died of other causes throughout this situation).

Haddonfield Memorial does not condone the running of staff in hospital corridors. Our policies indicate that medical staff should walk at a brisk pace but never run. #SafetyFirst

Tomorrow is the big day! Haddonfield’s first Pride promises to be a killer event! Remember to take necessary safety precautions and wear plenty of sunscreen, be sure you have proper visibility in any Silver Shamrock fetish masks, and watch out for the Bogeyman.

EVERYONE in Haddonfield turned out for our first ever Pride parade! Well, except for 🍺🤬 Barry Simms (Parody) 🤬🍺 who ghosted us as Grand Marshall. Could someone go check his van? #pride #parade #PrideParade #michaelmyers #haddonfield #halloween #HappyPride

Storytime: The Origins of Pride is happening now at the Haddonfield Public Library! Unfortunately, we accidentally double booked with Jello Time at the Retirement Community, so the acting troupe is not in attendance but Mrs. Blankenship is handling it like a pro. #pride #storytime

OMG! Laurie Chode is S-L-A-Y-I-N-G! And Jackie Lantern is making like a pie and SERVING! Tonight could not be more fierce. If you're not at the Rabbit in Red Lounge, you are really missing out! #pride #dragshow #drag #haddonfield #halloween #newdeck

The Pride Film Fest at the Lost River Drive In is underway! Name a more iconic trio - YOU CAN'T! #pride #drag #tickedofftrannieswithknives #haddonfield #halloween #movie #queercinema #drivein #driveinmovie

If the offerings at the drive in are too "modern," we've just been informed that Mrs. Blankenship is offering an alternative marathon in her living room. You just missed The Phantom of the Opera (but don't worry - she'll play it at least three more times before passing out).

Holy crap! We just caught Bucky-A-Go-Go...and WOW. We saw things we didn't even think possible. I mean, like, damn, man. HOW?! We were so engrossed, we didn't get a single photo. But if we had to sum it up in a word: ELECTRIFYING. #bucky #gogo #pride #haddonfield #halloween #wow

This was kind of a buck wild choice to end on but we're rolling with it and the crowd is vibing. #pride #movie #FilmFestival #queercinema #TexasChainsawMassacre #nextgeneration #haddonfield #halloween

We tend to follow Mr. Musk’s lead on hospital policy. That said, since we can no longer say the “C” word, we are unable to treat patients whose personal identity aligns with their sex assigned at birth. We are now serving trans, non-binary, and gender expansive patients only.

#NewProfilePic

Get two immunizations at full price and get the third 50% off!

An exception to this role will be made for the official staff Halloween party held in on October 31 from 12:00 to 12:15 pm.