The Seattle Mariners after 25 games

can someone tell me if summer 2020 is canceled so I can stop working out

Vote.

Me: *plants an ice cream cake in my backyard* Gardening is my passion

been making coffee at home instead of getting starbucks for two months which according to economists should’ve made me a billionaire by now so what is happening

Will be listening on repeat for the foreseeable future

All it takes is two glasses of wine for me to start replying to peoples stories as if they were personally sent to me

I’m pretty sure that me in a parallel universe is ruining things too, just differently.

working from home with cats be like "Dear John, I hope this email finds you welcccccccccccccccccccccccc8-'"

How come every cop is outfitted like an Avenger but health care professionals are out there fighting COVID wearing barrels on suspenders

This is the new 2-block-long mural on the streets leading to the White House, painted by the city of Washington, D.C. It reads: “Black Lives Matter." nyti.ms/3cDpaOm

the day i discovered you could wake up, shower and get dressed, and then immediately get back into bed was really the day it all went wrong

my son just came up to me and said, “it’s ironic that the same people who scream all lives matter are the ones who refuse to wear a mask” he’s a year old. and a cat

love this

god: you nap 16 hours a day cat: love it god: and you’re basically a killing machine cat: hell ya god: but humans will constantly pick you up and boop your nose cat: *angry glare* motherfu-

It's hard to articulate just how bad the looming eviction crisis could be

Really hoping that anxiety and pure liberal rage are personality traits because honestly that's all that's left of me after this election season.