A Libertary is a place residents of the town can go to borrow episodes of Joe R*gan's podcast

It honestly wasn't until now that I fully realized how insignificant the blue checkmarks actually are

I don't really like the word "submissive." I usually prefer say something like "help yourself" or "make yourself at home."

This man heard the two options and chose "Trick"

Warning to all my friends who are SUVS or Sedans...there's a new drug out there that will destroy your insides...

The internet sure does know how to pivot...

Life's too short to not be dizzy, don't forget to stop and smell the poppers sometimes

A community for people like furries except instead of dressing up like animals, they dress as the clip-art magnifying glass guy 🔥 🥵

I'm very sexually free, and I mean that literally; I do not charge, you can have sex with me for free

I still can't believe pogs wiped these bad boys off the planet forever

If only Ariel from the Little Mermaid had fallen in love with Cap'n Crunch, she could've been a part of his world AND part of a complete breakfast

Rolling my eyes from my coca plant garden

The threat of A.I. is real, and if you don't believe me, let me show you 800 short videos of A.I. acting funny to prove it

I've never met a tourist more unprepared for New York City than the guy next to me at the subway station who just asked his friend if the train has a "quiet car."

As a comic myself, I MUST take a stand against racist 'comedians' who I am not already friends with. To show my support, I have deleted 1/2 the tweets defending the racist comedian from my hometown & I will not be sharing photos of our hangouts either. Enough is enough!

Got too caught up on the lineup

Thank GOD we all finally turned on the one (and only) comedian that says sh*t like that!! Now we can all have fun 😎

After the election, we must fight for Tony Hinchcliffe to go on SNL and hear HIS side of the story! I heard he's nice from someone I met at a party who was doing a 'power hour' with Arizona Hard Ice Teas.

Doing comedy in Philly for over a decade taught me that Pennsylvania has always been the country's "Red-Lite District."

It is with a light heart that I must announce the end of The World's Least Successful X Account. This was certainly an easy decision to make, but the right one, regardless. Thx to the ones & ones of people who liked a few posts over the last twelve years. I'll always forget you!