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CycIingmews

@cyclingmewsfeed

The official Cyclingmews – the world centre of cycling - PARODY Account. NOT Affiliated with @Cyclingnewsfeed

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calendar_today10-08-2024 17:02:48

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Patrick Gamper revealed on an Austrian cycling podcast that Paxti Vila “lost the team bus” after the tactical mistakes of the first week. And all strategy for the rest of the Vuelta was done by the riders themselves, with the experienced vetaran Primoz Roglic in charge.

Patrick Gamper revealed on an Austrian cycling podcast that Paxti Vila “lost the team bus” after the tactical mistakes of the first week. 
And all strategy for the rest of the Vuelta was done by the riders themselves, with the experienced vetaran Primoz Roglic in charge.
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BREAKING 🚨: A new UCI report found that 98% of the pro peloton has been using the performance enhancing substance 1,3,7-Trimethylpurine-2,6-dione.

BREAKING 🚨:  A new UCI report found that 98% of the pro peloton has been using the performance enhancing substance 1,3,7-Trimethylpurine-2,6-dione.
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UAE Team Emirates staff and riders are reportedly VERY upset with Juan Ayuso as they suspect he is addicted to TikTok. The Spaniard has been "doom scrolling" the app with sound on at strategy meetings, team dinners, and in his hotel room at night.

UAE Team Emirates staff and riders are reportedly VERY upset with Juan Ayuso as they suspect he is addicted to TikTok. 
The Spaniard has been "doom scrolling" the app with sound on at strategy meetings, team dinners, and in his hotel room at night.
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According to an anonymous source, Tadej Pogacar hit Juan Ayuso multiple times in the head with an empty bidon. This occurred after the Spaniard showed up to the post race meeting 10 minutes late loudly watching a “NPC TikTok live”.

According to an anonymous source, Tadej Pogacar hit Juan Ayuso multiple times in the head with an empty bidon. This occurred after the Spaniard showed up to the post race meeting 10 minutes late loudly watching a “NPC TikTok live”.
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Mathieu van der Poel revealed in a new interview with WielerFlits that the morning before the Olympics road race he ate so much hagelslag that he almost shat himself when attacking on Montmartre.

Mathieu van der Poel revealed in a new interview with WielerFlits that the morning before the Olympics road race he ate so much hagelslag that he almost shat himself when attacking on Montmartre.
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According to an insider at UAE Team Emirates, Juan Ayuso insisted that he'd "end his shift early" and DNF at today's GP Montréal so he could doom scroll TikTok as soon as possible.

According to an insider at UAE Team Emirates, Juan Ayuso insisted that he'd "end his shift early" and DNF at today's GP Montréal so he could doom scroll TikTok as soon as possible.
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A new development in the story of Juan Ayuso's TikTok addiction has recently surfaced on the cyclingmews forum. UAE Team Emirates have installed a phone storage on the team bus. Riders and staff alike are required to deposit their phones when entering the bus.

A new development in the story of Juan Ayuso's TikTok addiction has recently surfaced on the cyclingmews forum. 
UAE Team Emirates have installed a phone storage on the team bus. Riders and staff alike are required to deposit their phones when entering the bus.
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At the Slovenian national team there is a rift growing between Luka Mezgec and the other riders. The veteran sprinter does not take ANY pulls on practice rides, as he claims he is practicing “waiting for the sprint”.

At the Slovenian national team there is a rift growing between Luka Mezgec and the other riders.
The veteran sprinter does not take ANY pulls on practice rides, as he claims he is practicing  “waiting for the sprint”.
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Andrea Piccolo revealed on the Talk Tuah podcast that his former boss, EF-Education Easypost manager Jonathan Vaughters is subscribed to his onlyfans.

Andrea Piccolo revealed on the Talk Tuah podcast that his former boss, EF-Education Easypost manager Jonathan Vaughters is subscribed to his onlyfans.
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MrBeast, KSI, and Logan Paul are releasing ‘Dopeables’, a PED competitor It will feature EPO, HGH, steak, and a variation of red blood cells

MrBeast, KSI, and Logan Paul are releasing ‘Dopeables’, a PED competitor 

It will feature EPO, HGH, steak, and a variation of red blood cells
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According to a new joint complaint to the UCI filed by a coalition of teams. Team Visma Lease a Bike send other teams a Tikkie request of 2.5 euros if one of their riders takes a bidon from the team’s own soigneurs.

According to a new joint complaint to the UCI filed by a coalition of teams. Team Visma Lease a Bike send other teams a Tikkie request of 2.5 euros if one of their riders takes a bidon from the team’s own soigneurs.
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In a new interview Cian Uijtdebrooks revealed the concrete reason for his dramatic exit from BORA-Hansgrohe. The Belgian was “repulsed” by the quality of the concrete foundations at the team’s office in Raubling.

In a new interview Cian Uijtdebrooks revealed the concrete reason for his dramatic exit from BORA-Hansgrohe.

The Belgian was “repulsed” by the quality of the concrete foundations at the team’s office in Raubling.
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On a new episode of Inside the Beehive, Grischa Niermann revealed that the team already have concrete plans for promising GC rider Cian Uitdjebroeks’s 2025 season, and that the Tour de France is a possibility.

On a new episode of Inside the Beehive, Grischa Niermann revealed that the team already have concrete plans for promising GC rider Cian Uitdjebroeks’s 2025 season, and that the Tour de France is a possibility.
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Slovenian great Primoz Roglic has reportedly been drinking “monster energy” openly at the RedBull athlete performance center in Salzburg as as an act of rebellion against the rumors that RedBull BORA-Hansgrohe would be signing fellow GC rider Remco Evenepoel.

Slovenian great Primoz Roglic has reportedly been drinking “monster energy” openly at the RedBull athlete performance center in Salzburg as as an act of rebellion against the rumors that RedBull BORA-Hansgrohe would be signing fellow GC rider Remco Evenepoel.
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Ahead of the mens elite road race on Sunday, the Slovenian team have only officially filled 7 out of their 8 rider slots. A new report by sportklub 2 details that the final spot for the race will be a non-wt Slovenian rider, decided by the counting-out game "An-ban, pet-podgan".

Ahead of the mens elite road race on Sunday, the Slovenian team have only officially filled 7 out of their 8 rider slots.

A new report by sportklub 2 details that the final spot for the race will be a non-wt Slovenian rider, decided by the counting-out game "An-ban, pet-podgan".
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Fabian Cancellara recently had to stay at ex-rival Peter Sagan's SP-resort in Slovakia He reportedly covered up the walls with pictures of his own greatest victories in an act of pettiness Sagan was informed by room service and allegedly asked the chef to burn Cancellara's eggs

Fabian Cancellara recently had to stay at ex-rival Peter Sagan's SP-resort in Slovakia

He reportedly covered up the walls with pictures of his own greatest victories in an act of pettiness

Sagan was informed by room service and allegedly asked the chef to burn Cancellara's eggs
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According to a leaked report, Tadej Pogacar has been consuming unknown products from a mysterious German doctor known only as “Dr. Oetker”. The Slovenian star has been receiving the products at different dead-drop locations in his local grocery store in Monaco.

According to a leaked report, Tadej Pogacar has been consuming unknown products from a mysterious German doctor known only as “Dr. Oetker”.

The Slovenian star has been receiving the products at different dead-drop locations in his local grocery store in Monaco.
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Slovenian national coach Gorazd Penko revealed on the podcast Nešportni SOS that Slovenia's 8th rider, Jaka Primožič, will have a "protected role" next to Pogačar. Pogačar himself also echoed his coach’s belief in Primožič: "He is Remco, but probably with more power."

Slovenian national coach Gorazd Penko revealed on the podcast Nešportni SOS that Slovenia's 8th rider, Jaka Primožič, will have a "protected role" next to Pogačar.

Pogačar himself also echoed his coach’s belief in Primožič: "He is Remco, but probably with more power."