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Wife: Please don't bore our guests talking about Roman History again this year. Me, before the turkey is even carved...

BREAKING: President Biden set to pardon Jim Cramer for all his bad stock picks

*POWELL: PART OF FED INDEPENDENCE IS WE ARE SELF FUNDED

Bruh ☠️

Nobody: Balding 28 year-old PE associates after taking a trip to Turkey for a new hairline:

Hey Mr.Dolphin DYOptions. In your opinion, has today’s price action put $TSLA and $GOOG back on the table for next week?

Things are getting crazy in Greenland, guys

when you realize you took an edible before doing something serious

The next Pope is probably gonna be Indian or Chinese. It's simple math, T.

TRUMP: WILL PLANT AMERICAN FLAG ON MARS

Ubering home from JFK after 9 days in Europe

Tooth fairy payouts drop to lowest rate in years, per Axios.

Round of applause to the Japanese hedge fund that was 60x levered 10Y UST’s that blew up last night to save the world from the Great Depression. We will not forget your sacrifice brother 🫡

Jet

BREAKING: Vladimir Putin has offered to negotiate a peace deal between President Trump and Elon Musk

STOP IT 🤣

ZIRP is back. Coming to every central bank near you

BREAKING: FRANCE SURRENDERS

🎶 Daddy’s home… Hey, hey, hey, Daddy. President Donald J. Trump attended the NATO Summit in The Hague, Netherlands.

🚨 *TRUMP, ASKED ABOUT DEPORTING MUSK, SAYS HAVE TO TAKE A LOOK