i don’t WANT hinge. i want this

8 straight hours of office work is totally fine though! We promise!

the vibe i bring to the function

Sometimes I stand in the middle of the floor, not going left, not going right.

this day is entirely run by hatred. eagles crushing that team out of spite. now kendrick halftime. being a hater rules

happy valentine's day

BILL HADER COME HOME

aidy bryant is sort of like if there was a beautiful stunning princess

every tongue that rises against conan shall fall

have you ever had SEX with your 240 year old vampire BOYFRIEND and it causes him a moment of true HAPPINESS so it breaks the curse that gave him his SOUL and now he wants to KILL YOU

Today is National Cereal Day.

may god have mercy on us all

no i want high speed rail

I chose, and my world was shaken— so what? The choice may have been mistaken, the choosing was not.

having a pretty rough day. if all the celebrities recorded themselves singing the song Imagine and sent it to me i would feel a million times better

add em up Bobby add em up